An American Visits India

Sham S .Misri

Once an American visited India. He was a great show off. While conducting tour of India he made a silly remark to embarrass the guide and the the host country. When he reached Qutab Minar in Delhi, the guide told him that it took eight years to built this tall monument.. The American showed surprise and said, “In America it would not take us more than six months to build such a structure!” They then went to see Taj Mahal in Agra. The guide then told the American that it took Shahjahan twenty long years to complete it with thousands of men working at daily.

The American took a sigh, twenty years is a long time. Our engineers wouldn’t take more than two years to recreate this, and we would probably employ a couple of hundred people.” Moving further the guide showed him fort in Jaipur and the American passed some remark and the guide was completely fed up. Reaching back to Lotus temple in Delhi, the guide told the driver to keep driving. He did not even look at that side.

The pompous American asked the guide, hey, you did not tell me how many years it took to make this marble lotus temple.

The guide turned sideways and looked at the temple with a surprise. “My God, that is unbelievable, this huge marble temple was not there last night: no wonder I missed it.”

The American now wanted to have shaved and so went to a barber. Sitting on a barber’s chair, he began criticising the Indian system of General practitioners, as he had been taken to one, when he complained of bad stomach- after having eaten Cholle Puri.

“In America, “ he boasted, “we have specialists for every part of body.” He talked about orthodontists, endodontists...Etc rather than only a dental surgeon in backward India. The barber who was quietly listening to the American was busy in working up lather for the shave. He just put the brush down and wiped out his hands, removed the towel and seriously said, “That will be all sir, I am specialist for softening the skin. The guy across the road handles the razor.”

Next the American had to address some Indian school children. He said, “You know, the lights in our stadium are so powerful  “It is just like sunlight..”

“Really? that bright!” Exclaimed the children.

“Well, almost,  may be a couple of lumens less,” said the American.

“Our submarines” he went on ,” go so deep, they touch the bottom of the sea.”

“Really? That deep.” Asked the Indian children.

“Well, almost, may be a couple of inches above.” Was the reply from the American.

Hearing all this, one of the  Indian child stood up and said,”You know, in India  we can eat from the nose.”

“:Really?” this time it was the American’s turn to be shocked.

“Well, almost may be a couple of inches below.” Answered the Indian.